Guuuuyys.... study abroad is stressful!
No shit, Meg, life is stressful. Suck it up.
Fine. But I'm going to complain about it first.
I'm stressed out. For the most part, there have been some pretty predictable stessors during study abroad, most of which I've blogged about here:
-Safety
-Arabic
-Cultural differences
-Homesickness
-Loneliness
-Money
-Safety
-Arabic
-Some more Safety, and some more Arabic, just for good measure.
All in all though, this semester has mostly been less stressful than regular Beloit semesters. Sometimes being in Jordan feels like a nice break from the real world. I don't have to worry about club politics, or even really American politics, I don't have social things to organize or attend or worry about attending, I don't have to worry as much about classes (except for Arabic), or lots of other things that I ordinarily stress myself out about at Beloit. But now with the end of study abroad approaching, the real world is coming to get me and it is STRESSFUL. To be fair, I think on a scale of 1-10, I'm at about a 6 right now, which is not that bad, but still. I'm frustrated with how little Beloit tells its study abroad students about what is going on at home and what we need to be working on right now. I feel like usually there's paperwork to fill out at this time of year, and I have no idea where I'm living next semester, and I feel like I must be missing something important but I don't know what....
I'm also feeling super disconnected with home right now. I barely talk to friends at Beloit and I have to nag some people pretty hard to actually talk to me, and I don't know how my dynamic with people at school will have changed when I get back in January. At the beginning of this semester I was so homesick, and I missed my geeks and the awesome geeky, awkward, nerdy awesomeness that is Beloit. I thought that while the people here are nice, I would never make close connections with them like I have with people in Beloit and it made me incredibly homesick. I still miss my geeks and I'm off the charts excited about going home, but... I've made friends here. I like them. We've created a little community of our own here in Jordan and we've gotten to know each other pretty well, and the conversations have become so much more fun and interesting, and hanging out with people here is easy and fun... And I'm probably never going to see any of them again. I have friends in far-flung places like Colorado, Washington, Alabama, Washington D.C.... Some friends are closer, in Wisconsin or Minnesota, but odds are we'll all keep in touch on Facebook and that'll be that. It frustrates me and it makes me concerned for the future. If I end up living far far away from Wisconsin and Beloit and Madison and the community that I've become a part of there, will the same thing happen? Will I stay Facebook friends with my college friends and nothing more? Gah, I don't even.
Growing up is hard.
Okay, Sucking It Up starts.... now!
No shit, Meg, life is stressful. Suck it up.
Fine. But I'm going to complain about it first.
I'm stressed out. For the most part, there have been some pretty predictable stessors during study abroad, most of which I've blogged about here:
-Safety
-Arabic
-Cultural differences
-Homesickness
-Loneliness
-Money
-Safety
-Arabic
-Some more Safety, and some more Arabic, just for good measure.
All in all though, this semester has mostly been less stressful than regular Beloit semesters. Sometimes being in Jordan feels like a nice break from the real world. I don't have to worry about club politics, or even really American politics, I don't have social things to organize or attend or worry about attending, I don't have to worry as much about classes (except for Arabic), or lots of other things that I ordinarily stress myself out about at Beloit. But now with the end of study abroad approaching, the real world is coming to get me and it is STRESSFUL. To be fair, I think on a scale of 1-10, I'm at about a 6 right now, which is not that bad, but still. I'm frustrated with how little Beloit tells its study abroad students about what is going on at home and what we need to be working on right now. I feel like usually there's paperwork to fill out at this time of year, and I have no idea where I'm living next semester, and I feel like I must be missing something important but I don't know what....
I'm also feeling super disconnected with home right now. I barely talk to friends at Beloit and I have to nag some people pretty hard to actually talk to me, and I don't know how my dynamic with people at school will have changed when I get back in January. At the beginning of this semester I was so homesick, and I missed my geeks and the awesome geeky, awkward, nerdy awesomeness that is Beloit. I thought that while the people here are nice, I would never make close connections with them like I have with people in Beloit and it made me incredibly homesick. I still miss my geeks and I'm off the charts excited about going home, but... I've made friends here. I like them. We've created a little community of our own here in Jordan and we've gotten to know each other pretty well, and the conversations have become so much more fun and interesting, and hanging out with people here is easy and fun... And I'm probably never going to see any of them again. I have friends in far-flung places like Colorado, Washington, Alabama, Washington D.C.... Some friends are closer, in Wisconsin or Minnesota, but odds are we'll all keep in touch on Facebook and that'll be that. It frustrates me and it makes me concerned for the future. If I end up living far far away from Wisconsin and Beloit and Madison and the community that I've become a part of there, will the same thing happen? Will I stay Facebook friends with my college friends and nothing more? Gah, I don't even.
Growing up is hard.
Okay, Sucking It Up starts.... now!
Hey so this is pretty much my life right now. Lots of my college friends have gone off to live wherever, my Australia friends are all over the country, and my friends from the Mojave this summer are also all scattered. But it has worked out pretty well for the most part, for me anyway. In my experience the "go off and live with a bunch of people in a place where you would otherwise be totally isolated" type of friends are the type that you can not talk to for months and then message out of the blue one day and be like "OH MY GOD TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE" and that's totally fine. In the last year I've seen 5 of the 11 people I was in Australia with, which is not a stellar total but it's way more than I expected and it's most of the ones I was super close with, anyway. Also, we're planning a reunion this summer (that I may or may not be able to make it to). But yeah, these are the type of friends where if I say "Hey, I'm going to be in LA, can I sleep on your couch for a night, even though we haven't seen each other for over a year?" their response is "OF COURSE!". I imagine it is the same with the friends you're making and the friends you have in Beloit. I hate the idea of moving away from so many people I care about (hence the reason why I'm moving to Madison instead of anywhere else in the world, despite it being in Wisconsin) but I know that I can and have been able to keep in touch with people. It's not always the best and I wish we were closer, but that kind of bond is sudden and lasting, at least in my experience.
ReplyDeleteAnd on the other note, I was terrified that I wouldn't fit back in when I came home, and I even stopped hanging around at BSFFA for the first couple of months, but it turns out that people are CRAZY EXCITED to see you and want to hear all about being abroad and tell you all about LARP and you will slide back in and everything will be the same, so much so that you will sometimes forget you went abroad at all, which is bad in a different way...but don't worry about that. Point is, we miss you and will be happy to see you!
I hope this was helpful and not old person preachy. I'm excited to see you again, anyway!
Thanks, Karis! It's definitely a relief to hear that you've seen so many of your Australia friends--I'm really going to miss people here! I also like hearing from people at home, 'cause I miss y'all too! (Sorry, I have an Alabama friend, I say y'all now). It's also been nice to have people like you and Carly around to get advice on study abroad from--I have been worried about coming back home and not fitting in, even though a part of me feels like that's silly, it'll be weird going back and having things be the same. But it's good to know that you and others have been there, done that. Thanks, Karis! I can't wait to see you when I get back, and it's great that you'll be in Madison!
ReplyDelete